According to my last medical tests, my uric acid levels are especially high. This can be because I plunged right into a high-protein diet and lost fifteen pounds too quickly. This can also be because I’ve always had a tendency to break down uric acid fairly slowly. Or it can simply be God’s way of telling me that I should quit eating fatty foods.
Yes, I shall listen to God. But that wasn’t my mindset on Monday, July 16. On that day, I woke up dreaming of cookies. I wanted to have a chewy oatmeal chocolate chip cookie, but I wanted it to be hot, so it had to be at a major kiosk or restaurant at the mall. I wanted chewy oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. Today is July 17th, and I STILL WANT OATMEAL CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES!!!
Anyway, due to said craving yesterday, I had to run to the mall sooner than usual so that I could run all my errands and get the cookies. I did run the errands, but I ended up walking all over the mall, meeting up with strange and annoying things, and walking my bottom sore when it was already sore to begin with (thanks to a tetanus booster shot that hasn’t quite healed yet).
Anyway, I still wanted cookies, and I was getting doubly annoyed because A) I wasn’t getting what I wanted, and B) I had been turned into a hermaphrodite yet again.
Doesn’t it annoy you when people greet you as “Ma’am Sir” in local malls? As in “Hello Ma’am Sir welcome to Glorietta/Megamall/Robinson’s!” What’s so difficult about addressing people by their real addresses? Is everyone so lazy that simple things can’t be done? Or do I just look like a hag? So much for Ma’am Inez. Ma’am Sir! Ma’am Sir! Ma’am Sir! OH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY!!!
I also got annoyed because C) People insist on calling restrooms C.R.’s, and nothing else. This has bugged me for ages. I ask for directions to the nearest restroom, but the person looks at me with a blank stare. The minute I change it to comfort room, I still get a semi-blank look. And then, the two magic letters…
“Ah, CR!” said person exclaims almost in annoyance, as though I were the one in need of a thesaurus. Happened again yesterday. Oh….snort.
After a trip to the restroom – oh, sorry, C.R. – I had no patience, and no bleeding cookie. I headed to the Food Court to get myself a bit of a snack, if only to make up for the fact that I so wanted my chewy dessert. Thanks to the snack, I ended up losing a bit of my craving for a moment.
Ah, letter D) the Quickly stall in the Glorietta 4 food court looks like it’s selling tadpoles. Yeah, I know, the stall is carpeted in an extra-magnified photo of sago beads illuminated with yellow light, but it really looks like a hundred little baby frogs.
Hahaha! So much for letting my annoyance get the better of me.
But this doesn’t change things. I still want oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. Now.